Letting Go

I have been talking to a lot of friends lately about fertility or just about life in general. People talk about their struggles, and their trials and I gain strength from what they have to say. One thing that I've notice is there is a trend in letting go of what you've been obsessed with for a long time, moving on, and finally seeing the blessing come. I've got so many examples of this!

A friend of mine. She had been dating men for a while before she got married. She was actually engaged 3 times! She wanted to be married but it seems that the men she dated never seemed to feel that marriage was right for the two of them. When she was broken up with for the third time, she decided she wasn't going to try anymore. And then, her husband comes around. She was resistant to him because she had already made up her mind that she wasn't getting married. But after a while her heart was softened and she married this very sweet man. She's happier than she ever thought she'd be. Interesting that her husband to be didn't come into the picture until she had given up.

Another friend. She and her husband had been trying to get pregnant since they got married over 2 years ago. They actively tried for 18 months. She was so frustrated by it all and keeping a positive attitude helped her but it was hard to keep that attitude for so long. After trying so long, they finally decided to start the adoption process. It was then that she got pregnant. And everyday she tells her husband, "I never thought I'd get pregnant."

Final example. Girlfriend of mine and her husband had also been trying to conceive for a long time. Nothing was working for them though. Both graduated and they needed to start setting up some income. She figured, "Well if I'm not pregnant might as well work and set up a career." She got the job. A week later she found out she was pregnant.

What is the connection between completely giving up on the idea and having it finally come to be? The Lord tells us to ask and you shall receive, knock the door will be opened. But here are women who knocked, did not receive, gave up, and only then had their prayer answered. I didn't think giving up was part of the equation. Even in my own life, when I had given up on seeking to get married, that's when my husband came around. I was still open to the idea! But I gave up on trying. I can't imagine that we all conveniently gave up at exactly the right time the Lord planned. I think that there's some sort of magic in letting go.

So then somebody tell me, how do you let go? How do you decide to forget about it without sounding like your faith is gone? How do you hope silently but let go?